The man accused of killing four members of a Muslim family in an alleged act of terrorism told a jury Thursday that he went through a process of mental "decline" during the pandemic, which included spending a "very unhealthy" amount of time on the internet.
Nathaniel Veltman took the stand in his own defence and said this decline began to take root when he moved to London, Ont., in April 2020 to be closer to Fanshawe College, where he’d been studying at the time.
But when classes were moved online and daily life changed due to COVID-19 restrictions, Veltman said he started consuming troubling content on the internet, some of which discussed the coronavirus, for hours each day.
By the time he went back to school later that year, Veltman said things got worse.
“I started to constantly watch this conspiracy garbage and propaganda," he told the Windsor, Ont., courtroom where the trial is taking place. "I felt this suicidal depression, which I’d never felt before.”
Under questioning from his lawyer, Christopher Hicks, Veltman said he began displaying bizarre behaviour, which included throwing out most of the food in his apartment, ripping his television from the wall mount and throwing away his furniture.
“I started to compulsively destroy things that I had in my apartment,” he said, adding that he didn’t realize at the time that his depression was caused by the “garbage” he was consuming online. He said he thought that getting rid of his possessions might be the answer.
“I had this compulsion to start destroying things. I don’t know why," he said.
Veltman is accused of deliberately hitting the Afzaal family with his truck in June 2021 while they were out for a walk in London, Ont. Prosecutors have alleged his actions amount to terrorism.
Salman Afzaal, 46; his 44-year-old wife, Madiha Salman; their 15-year-old daughter, Yumna; and her 74-year-old grandmother, Talat Afzaal, were killed in the attack, while the couple's nine-year-old son was seriously injured but survived.
Veltman has pleaded not guilty to four counts of first-degree murder and one count of attempted murder.
Earlier Thursday, Veltman testified that he and his five siblings, including a twin sister, were raised in Strathroy, Ont., by a largely distant and "introverted" father and a "religious fanatic" mother who homeschooled the kids and regularly spanked him until the age of 12.
Veltman said his upbringing made him increasingly angry, especially as he developed obsessive thoughts and what he said he later understood to be signs of mental health issues.
"I began obsessing over not thinking evil or violent things, which inevitably led me to think the worst thing a person could think," he said, referring to his response to his mother's Bible teachings that condemned "evil and murderous" thoughts.
The 22-year-old told the court that his homeschooling days included "Bible study first thing you wake up, Bible teaching during breakfast, Bible teaching during lunch, Bible teaching during supper.”
His mother didn't know he had "mental issues," Veltman said, and punished him if she thought he was being disrespectful or disobedient.
He testified that the family was kept away from other children and the wider community over fears that others could be a "bad" influence.
"My mother took extreme measures to maintain isolation from the secular world," Veltman said.
Veltman said he was seven years old when his mother showed him pictures of people "being tortured and burned in hell" and told him that happens to everyone who isn’t Christian.
“I found it traumatizing," he said. "I couldn’t get the picture out of my mind.”
That created an internal conflict, he said, because he "secretly loathed" his mother but was also afraid of going to hell for his hateful thoughts.
Veltman said he sometimes tried to speak to a sibling or his father about the situation but there would be “severe repercussions” if his mother found out.
He said he developed obsessive thoughts and ultimately realized that there was "something horribly wrong with me," suspecting that he had obsessive compulsive disorder after he learned the definition of that mental health condition. He testified that he also exhibited behaviours as a child that he later in life came to believe were signs of autism.
Veltman said his mother refused to get him professional help and referred him to Bible verses to deal with what she perceived to be a spiritual issue. She "lashed out" when Veltman kept pushing to see a doctor, he said.
Veltman repeatedly mentioned having "pent up anger" and "seething" rage as a result of his upbringing. He said he began pushing back against his mother more after his parents separated and she eventually allowed him to enrol in a Strathroy high school in Grade 11.
Despite the resentment surrounding his childhood, Veltman said he embraced religion again by the time he was around 17 because "bad things" happened in his life and he felt that was because he had strayed from fundamentalist Christian teachings.
"I became a religious fanatic myself," he said.
The Crown, which wrapped up its case last week, has argued that Veltman planned his attack for three months before driving his Dodge Ram truck directly at the Afzaal family.
Jurors have previously seen video of Veltman telling a detective he had been motivated by white nationalist beliefs and that his attack was politically motivated. Court also heard last week that Veltman wrote what prosecutors have called a manifesto peddling conspiracies about Muslims.
The case is the first where Canada's terrorism laws are being put before a jury in a first-degree murder trial.
In his opening statement to the jury earlier Thursday, Veltman's lawyer said the defence will also be calling forensic psychiatrist Dr. Julian Gojer, to testify about his assessment and diagnosis of Veltman.
Hicks said Gojer is qualified to discuss mental health disorders such as obsessive compulsive disorder and the impact of substance abuse disorders, including the use of hallucinogens.
“You will find it compelling evidence," Hicks told the jury.
This report by The Canadian Press was first published Oct. 12, 2023.
Sonja Puzic, The Canadian Press
