I had my house broken into and the loss I've been feeling is quite deep. During the afternoon, while I was at work and my children were at school someone entered my home. The person or people rummaged through dresser drawers in my bedrooms, kitchen, children's room, tossing things around, leaving my house in disarray.
The thief carried on through my house, locating and stealing what either appealed to them or caught their eye.
The worse part of a robbery in my experience thus far, is the feeling of having my faith in the good of others come to question. The feeling that there are generally good people in this world, stop for a moment. The feeling that I am vulnerable and exposed in ways I never imagined I'd feel in my own home...long story short, it really has shaken me.
Having my home broken into represents much more than the act. I feel violated and my trust is not the same. I know items matter less than health and safety. I am quite thankful nobody was hurt.
There were things taken from me that can never be replaced. A jewelry box, with likely little value to be realized by anyone but me. This was my mothers, my mother is no longer alive. In fact, my mother, brother and aunt are all people I've lost within the last seven years. I had jewelry from my aunt, my mother and myself with great value in this box. I also had pictures, baby pictures, personal letters, little things with no value that have likely been destroyed at this point. Things I may never recover.
The ipad, ipod touch, xbox one, the money, the medications etc. are things I don't care about.
The ps4 my son bought on his own though, I care about. Yet it's not the system it's the symbol - the representation. My son is 15 years old, he has been working for a month and half at his first job. He's been quite proud, he's saved two pays to buy that ps4 on his own. That made me very sad for him because it reminds me that I can't protect my children from everything nor can I prevent others from hurting them directly or indirectly.
Our family works hard, we do not take life for granted in the sense that we know how deep of a struggle living in poverty can be. I am lucky to have the opportunity to work and feel secure in my life. I am thankful I have been able to create a life that is modest and comfortable. I am so appreciative of this.
I am lucky and continue to be lucky. What is disheartening is that I can't recover the feelings, I can't change the way this person or people made my family and home feel. I can't fix the damage beyond the surface and I can't replace the items of deep personal value and meaning.
I have a message I wish to relay to the person or people who broke into my home. I strongly doubt that this will be read and even if it is, I can't see there being much care but .....
Next time, please knock, it's surprising how much help you may receive. I'd give you what I could and if not more, If you knew me, you would know my heart is usually in the right place, I have an ear to lend and care to give. If I ran across you and you were on the street in the cold with nothing, I would stop my car and give you mittens or whatever I had in my car. If you asked for change I'd check and give you what I could. I do what I can when I can and I believe in the idea of community, caring for others and giving back. I probably would have helped you if you just knocked and asked.
Just ask for help, try not to take, nobody deserves to feel this way.
If you happen to read this, and realize that the wooden jewelry box with ugly blue lining in the drawers has meaning, please just drop it at the end of my driveway. You obviously know where I live, if you haven't thrown out the pictures or little keepsakes or letters, please put them in my mail box. I know I won't get back the jewelry but please know how much it meant to me.
Lastly, please recognize the importance of that first purchase of a hard working teenager who is trying to earn rather than steal. It all seems simple, breaking a door, stealing things for a quick fix or small money but you will always steal more than material possessions and I'm saddened that you are that desperate.
If you can't give back the items that are of no value but have great meaning to me, then please, please, please try to get yourself some help.