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Ranger James Earl Consack



Ranger James Earl here.

It's that time of year again, my death day. I know I'm a bit late in sharin my words. Took me a long whiles to figure out xactly what I wanted to say.

Its been 3 years now, since I got to be held by my mostest beautifulest mom and my awesomest peoples. 3 years since my peoples got to see my smile, or breathe me in. I never did understand that, why grown ups tried to suck my head up their noses? I mostly didn't mind, cause I didn't have any hair to lose in case they got too.. nthusiastic with their sniffing.

I visit a bit less these days, and I hope that's okay. At first I was real worried bout my peoples. Theys was cryin a lot. A. Lot. There was times when I'd catch em doing the same thing to my clothes as they'd do to the top of my head. Still don't quite understand it, but hey - grownups never do make a lot of sense to us youngins. I'd pop in hopin that my peoples would feel me there, and mebbe feel a bit less sad. It usually worked. A little.

On my way out, I wishded that they please don’t feel guilty for laughing or living because as we know, tomorrow is not a promise. I'm happy to report that's mostly true. I know there are times like today, or when they see Sassy Pants doing something I never got to do - that their saddies come back to leak out of their eyes. That hurts my heart, and I sometimes wish for their sakes that my journey could have been different.

I'm grateful though, that it wasn't. I see Sassy Pants falling all the time, and growin weird lumps on her forehead and bein right angry when my peoples want to wash her food off her face and hands... it must be real awful and real horrible cause she sounds like. Well. Like she's trying to wake Us All in the Spirit World. I don't remember ever soundin like that. So I must have... whats that sayin? Dodged a bullet?

Sorry, I couldnt help myself. My mostest beautifulest mama and my Koko laugh so hard when they make dead baby jokes. You shud see the faces of the people that are around when they do. They make the same face as Creator when one of us Littles does something naughty.

It's alright tho, cause I know the jokes are their way bein ok with my goneness. Like the time my peoples offered me moisturizer cause I was lookin a little dry an ashy.

See? That's the face. You're makin it right now. And I'm gigglin the same way I do when Creator makes that face.

Peoples, thank you so much for honouring my words. For living, and laughing. Thank you for being okay without me. Makes me free to start planning my next journey.

Oh, and it's okay if you don't think about me every single day. It's okay that you sometimes forget what I look like or what I smell like. It's okay that you find joy with Sassy Pants, or that you gift my stuff to others. It's okay to live. Without me.

Truthfully it's not really without me. It's just without me right now. Dont worry, I won't start the next journey until you're all here with me, and we're ready.

Here's me, sayin goodbye for now - cause I know y'all will be okay. Really, genuinely - okay.

I love y'all to the moon and back,
Ranger Danger xoxo