It’s difficult enough for those who are younger to be cooped up at home during these government-imposed days of COVID-19 measures, being told to stay at home, work at home if possible, businesses of just about every kind shut down and having to line up to buy groceries.
Given the Sault’s aging demographic, one’s thoughts turn to the elderly, whether they be in their own homes, retirement homes or long term care homes, feeling lonely and isolated while their children and grandchildren are not allowed to visit them due to COVID-19 fears.
“It’s hard not to be able to visit with my Mom because of the constraints with the virus,” said Sault resident Roger Nenonen, speaking to SooToday.
Roger’s mother lives in a local retirement home.
“My Mom’s lived all her life without having these constraints. It’s hard for us (as younger people, as sons and daughters of seniors) to know you can’t even hug your Mom or talk to her face to face.”
“It’s hard on all of us, but at least we can go out and do the social distancing. It’s worse for someone in an apartment, being in the care of others,” Roger said.
He said he speaks with his mother over the phone daily, his sister calling her twice daily.
“I think of what my Mom’s going through. To be in a little room in a retirement home, it’s not like a house which other people enjoy. That’s quite a shocker, to not be able to have her over for lunch on a Sunday.”
“My sister would pick her up every Wednesday to have her over at her apartment, she could rest there, they would go eat at a restaurant and travel back to the home at the end of the day, and then to be told you have to stay in here or else, because you’re the most fragile of the population...I empathize with them big time,” Roger said.
That said, Roger added “my Mom’s not despondent.”
“Hats off to the (retirement home) staff for keeping up morale.”
“She’s in very good spirits and a lot of the credit goes to the staff. I called her one day and she was really cheerful. It's a good staff. They know how to interact with seniors and keep it light even though there’s this whole plight of COVID. There’s a cheerful heart from the staff, and that lifted my own spirits. I hope in all the homes locally that cheerful staff spirit is there,” Roger said.
“The staff really deserve a lot of credit for keeping the spirits and morale up for the residents who have to be told ‘you can’t go out for another month.’”
“A phone call (from a son or daughter) just doesn’t cut it. It’s not the same as sitting in the same room and even just enjoying quiet time or watching TV together with my mother.”
Still, Roger said he appreciates those telephone calls.
These days, he and his wife stand outside his mother’s room window, contact her by cell phone and invite her to come to the window and speak to them via landline from her room.
“That’s a nice way to connect, and my sister brings her food and snacks every second day which the home doesn’t provide.”
“We’ve been bringing photo albums to her, showing the house where I grew up, so she goes through them and she’s really been enjoying that.”
Items brought for residents enjoyment are sanitized at the door by staff.
“She can go outside for a little bit now as the weeks have gone on. They’re ramping up activities in the home and allowing residents to get a bit of fresh air at certain times of the day. They can go out in the hallway and hang with their friends, sit in the hall and talk, there are games going on,” said Roger, a musician in his spare time who used to play country tunes with bandmates at his mother’s retirement home for residents enjoyment in pre-COVID times.
Groups of residents in excess of five people in one spot, in accordance with government COVID-19 rules, are not allowed in the home, with no more than two diners at one table (instead of four or five).
Overall, Roger said he’s happy retirement and long term care home officials have locked those facilities down.
“Within confines that small, if someone got sick, there are some who are really weak. It would be tragic.”
Like everyone else in his position, with an elderly parent in a retirement or long term care home at this time, Roger said he’s looking forward to visiting and celebrating with his mother again, hoping a vaccine for COVID-19 will be developed.
“I think we've learned a lot through these quiet times, going through this isolation. It makes us appreciate each other more.”
