An unkind person might ask, what the heck is wrong with you all? Why are people being so unkind at a time when everyone's good nature is being pushed to the limits?
That question was the substance of a recent blog posting by public health promotion planner Lynda Fraser with the Thunder Bay District Health Unit (TBDHU).
"I think overall it really comes down to the stress and anxiety, I think, of the whole pandemic situation,” she told Village Media. “It has just created this whole layer of maybe just a little bit of panic. Everybody has this heightened awareness of everything that needs to be done to protect themselves and their family from illness. And I think that people are just a little bit on edge.”
In her blog, she wrote that Canadians are generally regarded as friendly and easygoing.
"To the world it seems we’re generally nice people. We’re polite. We help strangers in need. I’d like to think it’s more than a stereotype and that friendly folk are typically the majority."
In reality, it seems the truth is being stretched. The pandemic appears to have uncovered a festering meanness in some people. Fraser referred to the practice of "plate shaming" where people with out-of-province licence plates are being given a hard time by strangers who think they have some Trumpian right to put down others.
"So when they see other people not doing what they think is the right thing to do then it just creates that little sense of, ‘Oh I want to tell them, or I better speak my mind.’ Before they would have been a little bit more reserved,” Fraser said. “Now people just feel they need to speak up because they want to protect themselves.
"It’s understandable that the stress brought on by so many changes in a short time can make us irritable. But, if there was ever a time for kindness and compassion for our fellow citizens, it’s now."
She went on the describe a recent shopping trip with a friend where they were wearing face masks, as per the new normal. It wasn't until they left the store that Fraser's friend pulled the mask off in desperation, explaining that it was difficult because she had asthma.
"I mentioned that she would be exempt from the mask policy, but she replied, 'I’d rather suffer with a mask on than face the fierce judgment from people thinking I’m just a rule-breaker!'," Fraser said.
"It's sort of another reason why we need to get the message out about kindness. I think we all just need to be kind to one another and realize that everybody is doing the best they can."
Fraser admitted she has had her own moments when the frustration mounted and she was tempted to speak out.
"I do catch myself sometimes. I work for public health, but I am also a resident in our community. I find sometimes I feel like I want to say something, but then I think, you know what, it's not my place. If I see someone not wearing a mask then I do remind myself, you know what, maybe they're exempt."
Fraser said people have to learn to hold back on speaking out and try to give people the benefit of the doubt.
"If they're young. If they're old. If they look well or don't look well, everybody's got their reasons for doing what they do. I'm responsible for myself and the way I behave in the community so I just focus on making sure I do things right and try not judge other people," she said.
Fraser said the need for a bit of what she called COVID kindness is especially true for social media.
"Well I think social media does offer that veil of anonymity where people do sometimes — and unfortunately — speak their minds you know where they wouldn't say the same things to a person's face. But because they're on a computer and they feel they can be a bit more anonymous; they feel free that they can be more unkind," she said.
The blog posting did not come from a place of anger or bitterness, Fraser said, but instead from a sense of what she has been seeing in life. Fraser said it's easier to be nice to people and she said even when she is wearing a mask, people know when she is smiling.
She said a little friendliness can go a long way and after all, as Canadians we have that reputation to uphold.
