Cork dorks

If you enjoy reading and enjoy wine… (well, you are reading this column, aren’t you?) then you should certainly enjoy reading Cork Dork by Bianca Bosker. The sub-title reads “A wine-fueled adventure among the obsessive sommeliers, big bottle hunters, and rogue scientists who taught me to live for taste.” 

The New York Times “Best Seller” lives up to that claim absolutely. In Cork Dork, we follow her crazy journey as she tries to go from basically a wine “no-nothing” to a certified sommelier, all in under two years.

In a November 5 Wine Enthusiast article on-line, writer Kelsey Ogletree proposes you can prepare “inexpensively” to qualify for a sommelier by taking the following suggestions: Get a Job in the Restaurant Industry, even as a “cellar rat.” (basically a wine “go-fer;”) Buy a Case of Wine a Week; Hit the Books – (Ogletree recommends Wine Folly’s Essential Guide to Wine and Jancis Robinson’s The Oxford Companion to Wine;” Form Local Study Groups; Make Friends at a Wine Bar; Travel to Wine Regions; Volunteer at a Conference.

Do all this, and you might be able to pass the Level-Two qualifications set out by the Court of Master Sommeliers. This involves a written test, a blind tasting, and a “service test” in which the candidate has to go through the process of serving wine to a dinner party of four.

The top-level is Level Four. In the 50 years that it has been operating, only 269 people have made the grade, barely 5 a year. Many of those candidates had to try various parts of the exam several times.  Sevenfifty Daily reported on September 18 that seven Americans finally succeeded this year. None of them completed all three parts in one “go.” For one of the candidates, it had taken 5 attempts at the theory, 3 at the service, and 7at the blind tasting before finally nailing all three portions.

We can understand why Bosker chose “Cork Dork” for the title of her book.

The book is hilarious and informative, and in it Bosker does all those things that Ogletree suggests, and more. Along the way, she opens our eyes to some fascinating aspects of what goes on in the wine business. 

On the topic of ability to taste, she writes about some people having far greater abilities to taste than others. Using a ‘super-taster’ testing kit, Bosker discovers that her partner, Matt, is a super-taster, while she, alas, is ordinary. At the moment, Matt, who happened to be enjoying a particularly good Scotch, said to her, “I’d give you some of my scotch, but it’d be like taking a blind person to the Louvre.”

Not particularly politically correct, but we get the idea.

About all the tasting she does along the way, and the ‘somm-maniacs’ she does it with, she said that they became more or less functioning alcoholics. At another point, recounting her experience when she finagled her way into the ‘La Paulée celebration of Burgundy in New York, she gives us an insight into one of the most “over-the-top” wine experiences imaginable. The tile of that chapter is simple “The Orgy.”

She explains that one woman flew in for the celebrations and spent $14,500 to attend La Paulée’s nine fanciest events. The term, “Conspicuous Consumption” doesn’t even come close to defining the phenomenon.

On her chaotic journey, Bosker was able to receive the mentorship of Morgan Harris, who according to his biography “jumped into the wine game full time in 2011” and, as Bosker was trying to get accreditation, Harris was doggedly pursuing his Master Sommelier Level Four – he succeeded in 2018, a year after the publication of Cork Dork. 

The insights into the world of wine and the fanaticism of the Master Sommelier requirements will blow you away.

Bosker’s description of her initial efforts in the wine profession, what she learns about our ability to taste and smell, the commercial manipulation that can go into mass wine production, and the characters which populate this excursion are fascinating and often hilarious.

One of the people who stands out is Paul Grieco. Grieco, the owner of Terroir in New York, is over-the top passionate about wine, and comes across as the wine equivalent of Seinfelds’ “Soup Nazi.” The term “Terroirist” works on three levels, here, referring to people associated with the restaurant; to the concept of “terroir” or the role of “place” in the character of a wine; and finally to Grieco’s own no-holds-barred ‘terrorist’ approach to appreciating and respecting wine, never mind just enjoying it. 

Grieco is originally from Toronto, and back in the 1960’s, his family’s restaurant, La Scala was at the top of the list for fine Italian dining.

Eventually, Bosker tries the Level two exams, and one of the best parts of the book is how she brings everything back to earth a little in describing one of the other candidates, a woman who is working hard as a waitress, and for whom, getting these papers will change her life. 

As to how everything ultimately turns out, read the book.

Cork Dork by Bianca Bosker, Penguin Random House 2017. It is available at indigo.ca, and the people at Coles would certainly be happy to help as well.

November 23 Vintages Release

This will be the second-last Release prior to the Holidays, with only one release slated for December. Just as January and February cater to consumers’ belt-tightening after the Christmas splurge, these last two releases of the year always introduce more expensive and less common wines to tempt us, either to spoil ourselves or to be generous with others.  Still, there remain a few good, reasonably-priced options.

White

Gérard Bertrand Réserve Spéciale Viognier 2017, $14.95, from France’s Roussillon has good reviews with melon, pineapple and peach some of the terms used to describe the flavour, while both creaminess and chalkiness have been used to describe the mouthfeel. The winery has kept this fresh, however, and you can expect a mineral note on the finish.

Joseph Cattin Riesling 2017, $14.95, a dry example from Alsace, earned a respectable ‘89’ from the Wine Enthusiast which acknowledged its light, “fresh palate”, “lemon zestiness” and “dry clean finish.”

Chateau de Nages Vielles Vignes Blanc 2017, $19.95, from the Rhone has the enthusiastic approval of the “Parker People” who tell us that his white blend “offers hints of apricot and lime and a plump, custardy-lees richness on the palate.” – 92.

Soho white collection Sauvignon Blanc 2018, $19.95, is a new Marlborough release from New Zealand. According to wineorbit.co.nz, “the palate is lively and mouth-watering with excellent fruit power and vibrancy.” - 93.

Red

Chateau le Cap 2016, $16.95, from the Côtes de Bordeaux has great promise. According to milehighwineandspirits.com, this wine “is a true joy to behold with stunning layers of complexity on the nose and the palate. The fruit is ripe and rich and forward, giving this delicious Red a sense of vivacity and accessibility… It is the kind of wine that reveals something new with each passing swirl, sniff, and sip” - 91. Either lay it down for a couple of years, or decant to let all the goodness open up.

Porca de Murça Reserva Tinto 2014, $17.95 from Portugal’s Douro will be terrific. “A minerally backbone strikes thought the currant, bay leaf and boysenberry core of this elegant red. Steeped plum and spice aromas cascade into the long, grippy finish,” explains winespectator.com – 90.

Zuccardi Q Malbec 2016, $19.95, from Argentina should over-deliver. Partially fermented in concrete vats, partially fermented in large used oak barrels, the wine is “pure, strict, raw and characterful, with plenty of fine-grained, chalky tannins,” says Luis Gutiérrez of robertparker.com. who concludes it is “incredibly good.” 

Chateau de Nages Vielles Vignes Costières de Nîmes 2016, $19.95, is the red counterpart to the white mentioned above. It has an identical 92 from robertparker.com, which calls it “medium to full-bodied, creamy and ripe, with a long finish” offering “plenty of fruit-driven pleasure.” Combining the red and the white would make a terrific gift this season.

On this release, there is a slew of excellent South American reds, and another swath of fine examples from both France and Italy. They range in price from roughly $20 to $90 and up. Speak with your wine consultant to find the ones that will really please both you and those who are the recipients of your generosity!