Saying good-bye, again.

Just over a year ago I wrote an article that I called Christmas should not be the time for good-byes.

Last year my ex-wife, Susan, was struck and killed while crossing Trunk Road; while we had not been in contact for some time prior, it was still a shock. A year later, it still seems somewhat surreal.

Unfortunately, I find myself saying “good-bye” again this year.

On Thursday, a funeral service was held for Janet (Wightman) Jones, a former elementary teacher, and a dedicated volunteer at my church.

She served on the Faith Formation Committee, which I chair, assisted with Sunday School, Vacation Bible School, and the many other activities the committee hosted. She also served on the Mission & Service Committee, the “Arts in the Grove” Committee, and was one of our congregation’s representatives on Presbytery.

Janet was a terrific mentor, a loyal friend, and a tireless volunteer. I'm a better teacher and volunteer – indeed, a better person – for having benefited from her guidance.

Janet put up a valiant and courageous struggle against cancer.

My thoughts and prayers are with her family.

Saying good-bye to a loved one or a friend is never easy, and it is even less so at Christmas time.

Christmas is a time of great joy, especially for us “church-goers.”  We sing hymns, we hear the Christmas story re-told and watch it re-enacted by the children, their parents and grandparents beaming with pride.

We go shopping, picking out just the right gifts for family and friends, and take joy in exchanging gifts with them.

We decorate our homes, and drive around town to see the displays of others.

However, the passing of a loved one, or a friend, can replace all that joyfulness with heartache. This is not to say that one cannot appreciate the joy of the season, but our grief and sense of loss make it a bittersweet joy.

Which is why we need to remind ourselves of the good times we have shared, and keep the happy memories alive in our hearts throughout the year, but most especially at Christmas time.

On Christmas Day I will be leading the worship service at my church. My meditation will consist of a series of reflections on Christmases past with my parents; the good times we shared, the gifts that we exchanged, and what Christmas meant to us as a family.

It took quite a long time for me to move beyond simply acknowledging the emptiness I felt at Christmas, and to be able to call to mind the happier memories.

As regular readers will know, the beginning of the winter season is a difficult enough time for me to begin with. As the days have been growing shorter my mood has been dropping, to the point where it sometimes takes an effort to get motivated.

Fortunately, the holiday season does give the opportunity to get involved in activities that can lift one’s spirit.

On Saturday afternoon we held the annual Children’s Spirit of Christmas pageant at my church. I won’t deny that it was difficult to get into the spirit, this year, especially coming just two days following Janet’s funeral; she was the “snack lady” for events such as this.

But, we got set up, prepared the crafts, and at two o’clock the kids arrived.

They had a great time, enjoying the video (How the Grinch Stole Christmas), the crafts, and the snack (admittedly, store-bought goodies).

The message we try to reinforce with this party is that which the Grinch himself learns:

…maybe Christmas doesn’t come from a store; maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”

Christmas doesn’t have to be elaborate nor expensive. What’s most important is being together.

It is bittersweet, though, when someone who should be there isn’t.

The turnout this year was somewhat lower than in the past –, but while some of our “regulars” weren’t able to attend, we did welcome five newcomers.

There’s nothing better to help boost one’s mood than children’s laughter!

And really, isn’t that what life is all about?

Yes, we have our family and friends, the people with whom we are most familiar; and yes, we do lose loved ones from time to time. But we also gain new friends and even family – people who don’t replace those absent friends, but who find a place in our hearts, and bring us joy.

That’s what Christmas is all about… even when we find ourselves saying “good-bye.”

But… that’s just my opinion.