Mothers

Today is Mother’s Day, the day when Mothers are feted at buffet lunches, by bringing home a bucket of chicken and all the fixin’s, or to whatever other tradition one’s family holds.

Mothers will receive cards from beaming children, whether fancy, sentimental store-bought cards, or hand-made creations.

And don’t forget the flowers! While florist shop prices don’t rise as dramatically for this special day as they do in February, there will still be a premium on bouquets and arrangements of exotic blooms – unless one simply picks up a bunch of grocery store flowers (which, incidentally, florists have told me are of as high a quality as they sell, but cheaper).

Yes, today is the day set aside to honour our Mothers. Happy Mother’s Day to all who have borne and raised children. It is a happy day.

For some, it may be the only “day off” from the many chores and duties that a mother performs.

Lost in the celebratory hustle and bustle, however, are a few different groups of mothers.

The first, often acknowledged privately, are the mothers who are no longer with us.

My own mother passed away in 1993, after a two-year battle with cancer.

Children expect to outlive their parents, but they expect that their parents will first live at least to the point where they are referred to as “elderly.” Sadly, this is not always the case.

My own mother passed away at age 53, when I was only 33.

I know of others who lost their mother when they were still in their teens, and a few even younger.

We, as a society, seem to take for granted that mothers will be with us as we grow and mature into adulthood. Certainly TV reinforces this notion, and for the vast majority this is the case.

Those of us who have lost our mothers do adapt.

I can’t speak for anyone else, but I do have moments when I wish my mother was still here. There are times when I simply want to share some good news with her, or seek her advice on a matter.

As time goes on I still think about her, and wonder what she would say about the state of things today.

So, I pause to give thought to mothers who are no longer with us, and to their children.

Another group of mothers that get overlooked on this “holiday” are the mothers who are struggling.

Young mothers, who through whatever circumstance found themselves pregnant at a young age, perhaps alone with no man in their lives to help raise and guide their child.

Mothers whose husbands or partners have left them, again through whatever circumstance, to fend for themselves; to raise their children on their own.

Mothers who, even with their husbands or partners, find life itself a struggle, and whose children have only made that struggle all the more difficult.

These are mothers that society has often shunned, or at least looked down at over its collective nose. These are mothers that get criticized in coffee shops, malls, and online chat rooms.

And yet, without knowing their circumstances, indeed without having lived through similar circumstances, are we truly in a position to judge?

So, I pause to acknowledge the struggle of mothers whose circumstances are difficult.

The next group of mothers might be described by the old adage, “out of sight, out of mind.” The mothers in what are known as “Third World” countries: countries where the standard of living is poverty, destruction, war, and disease.

These are mothers who fight daily to keep their children alive, who toil long and hard to raise a small garden, or who often have to beg, or worse, to obtain food for their children.

Mothers who would be horror-struck to see the amount of food we waste on a daily basis.

Mothers who walk kilometres each day to fill jugs from a source of safe drinking water, or those who have no choice but to drink from the nearest contaminated source.

So, I pause to honour the determination of these mothers, who only want what’s best for their children, knowing that what they are able to give them is not enough.

Finally, there are mothers who have outlived their children.

No mother should ever have to attend the funeral her child. I can’t imagine anything more heart-breaking.

So, I pause to acknowledge pain and sorrow of mothers who have lost children.


On this day of celebration, let us all pause to remember mothers everywhere: mothers who live their lives as best they can, sometimes struggling with day-to-day life, sometimes grieving a loss that few can appreciate.

Let us remember the mothers who are no longer with us.

And most importantly, let us honour those who are.



David