Let’s talk.

Yesterday, 8 February, was “Let’s Talk” day on CTV. Sponsored by Bell, this is the second year for this effort to end the stigma of mental illness in general, and specifically depression.

TSN's Michael Landsberg and Clara Hughes, six-time Olympic gold medalist, have taken the lead as spokespersons, telling their personal stories of depression.

This year, in addition to a day-long interactive chat session on their website, CTV aired the documentary “Darkness and Hope: Depression, Sports and Me," which highlights Landsberg’s person journey dealing with depression, as well as spotlighting the stories of athletes Clara Hughes, Stéphane Richer, and Darryl Strawberry.

Lest anyone think that people who suffer from depression are “weak,” Landsberg poses the following question: “Clara Hughes is arguably our greatest athlete ever and people in the sports she competes in say she is the toughest person they have every met… So if that person can be dragged down by depression, then how do you still believe it's a weakness?”

In the documentary all four speak of the stigma that kept them from admitting, even to themselves, that there was a problem. By all outward signs, they felt, no one could tell there was anything wrong.

But they all knew that was a lie.

‘70s stadium rock band Player had a #1 hit with the song “Baby Come Back.” While the song describes the feelings of a guy whose girl has left him, and ignoring the lines that bemoan her leaving, or wishing she would come back, the lyrics could aptly describe depression. The second verse is particularly apt:

Many people who experience depression do wear a mask of false bravado. They paste on a smile when facing their family, friends, and co-workers, and pretend nothing is wrong.

Think about it: when you ask someone, “How are you, today?” you aren’t really expecting to hear a list of all their woes, are you? For that matter, you really only expect one answer: “Fine, thanks. How are you?”

And that’s understandable;  who wants to stand by the water cooler, or in the parking lot, listening to someone go on and on about their problems? Then again, who wants to be the person that goes on and on about their problems?

But isn’t that part of the problem?

Interestingly, people will discuss their health problems – blood pressure, heart conditions, diabetes, arthritis, even cancer – and their sex lives and related difficulties, but they are embarrassed to talk about depression.

Again, it’s understandable that people are reluctant to discuss their mental health with others. Other people’s reactions are often not particularly thoughtful, nor brimming with compassion.

In the response section following one of the CTV articles on depression, one poster initially acknowledges that there are people with “legitimate mental health issues…” but goes on to describe others who she claims have been “…spoiled, sheltered, and coddled as children and now have absolutely no coping skills as adults.”

She prescribes a “big kick in the pants” for the latter group, and claims they “have no right grouping themselves in with those that have legitimate depression.”

Sadly, there are too many people who believe that depression is less a medical condition and more a choice; that people can pull themselves up by their bootstraps and get on with their lives.

If only it was that easy.

I speak from experience when I say that depression is not simply a choice, nor that one could “get over it” if they wanted to.

I’ve written previously about my experience with S.A.D. – Seasonal Affective Disorder. Short days and long nights – waking before sunrise and watching the sun set before supper – have a very noticeable affect on my mood.

I can work through this, and if I have an evening meeting to attend I can paste on a smile and be my usual, wise-cracking self. But it can take a fait bit of effort, at times.

Sometimes, however, there is more to it than simply wanting a few more hours of sunshine.

This winter has been particularly difficult, for me.

I have not been getting very many call-outs as a supply teacher. I am not alone in this, from what I hear from others, but that doesn’t make me feel all that much better.

I really like where I am living. My landlord is great, and it’s a great location. But, I'd like my own place, and I can’t see that happening any time soon.

I just celebrated my 51^st birthday, which in and of itself didn’t bother me. However, I’ve begun doing the math, and things aren’t looking all that good for an early retirement.

It’s not the first time I have waded through the morass of depression.

I certainly plunged fairly deep into despair after the passing of my parents, ten weeks apart, back in 1993. I married two years later, but divorced five years after that.

I have changed jobs many times. Often this was not by choice, and even when it was, I would sometimes find myself unemployed for an extended period, or else taking a job that I would not have chosen if I hadn’t been desperate.

While this does speak to my work ethic, and certainly I put every effort into any job I held, taking pride in a job well done is not quite the same as being content where one’s life has led.

Don’t get me wrong; my current situation is not the cause of my depression, although it is likely a factor.

The fact is that I can look back twenty or thirty years and recognize symptoms of depression that affected me even then.

Depression is more complex than just being a reaction to the situation one finds oneself in. It is an inability to cope with that situation. Still, many people find themselves in far worse situations and yet do not suffer from depression.

What makes it worse, for me, is that I can recognize how depression is affecting me; how it is sapping me of the motivation to do more than the very minimum I need to do each day.

I can sit here in my chair, look around at the clutter that I should be cleaning up, and make the decision that it just isn’t a priority.

Yes, I can head off to a meeting, or go to work and be perfectly pleasant and enjoy myself thoroughly. Afterwards, however, I go home and settle back into the deep blue funk I had left a few hours earlier.

I do not tell this to evoke sympathy, for that would not help my situation, nor do I want or need sympathy.

Rather, I tell this to help dispel the stigma of depression, and to promote a better understanding of depression.

One in five Canadians will suffer from depression at least once during their lives.

Depression is an illness, much as diabetes or high blood pressure. There is no cure, but there are treatments available, including medication and talk therapy.

What is needed, most of all, is understanding.

As Michael Landsburg said in his article, “We still live in a world that sees mental illness somehow as self inflicted.”

Depression is not a choice, nor is it a sign of weakness. In fact, there is a saying that goes:

We need to find the strength to talk about depression, and rid ourselves of the stigma surrounding this all too common illness.

I am not a celebrity like Michael Lansburg or Clara Hughes. But if I can put a face to depression, and lend my voice to the conversation, then I can be part of the solution.

And I hope you will be, too.

Let's talk.