Are Insults Really Necessary?

"Order! Order!"

In the mid-80s I was involved with the Ontario Youth Parliament (OYP), and the National Youth Parliament Jeunesse Nationale. (The NYP/PJN was at that time the first organization ever to be granted the use of the Senate Chambers for its proceedings.)

In these model parliaments debate was sometimes raucous, but never did it deteriorate into the shouting matches one sees on tv when Question Period is broadcast. In fact, politicians — municipal, provincial and federal — who attended any of our sessions were quick to state how impressed they were by the level of decorum shown by the delegates.

One of the most frequent comments I hear concerning the behaviour of our politicians, especially at the provincial and federal levels, concerns the lack of decorum shown in the house, and the spectacle that is Question Period. With insults and invectives shouted from both sides of the house, and with every person who rises to speak being heckled, it often appears that a bunch of unruly school children have been dressed-up and let loose in the legislature.

Then again, perhaps I’m being too hard on school children.

But if people are disgusted by this spectacle, why do so many tend to emulate this behaviour in their own discussions, especially in on-line forums?

More and more it seems that when some people assert a position on a topic, they regard anyone who disagrees with them with the utmost of contempt. It is not unusual for someone to resort to the basest of insults when another expresses disagreement with their opinion on a topic.

I wonder if it is the "anonymity" of on-line discussions that leads some people to dispense with a sense of decorum, or would they react in a similar fashion in a face-to-face discussion?

It also seems to me that there is a trend toward polarization in such discussions. The old saying "either you’re for us or against us" often seems to be the standard for many discussions.

Us and Them; We and They; Black and White. There often doesn’t seem to be a middle ground in many discussions. Perhaps this is why people seem to be unable to reach a compromise.

I have no problem with anyone who adopts a position on an issue and is prepared to defend that position. What bothers me is that so many people seem unwilling to acknowledge that there may be other equally valid positions, depending on a person’s point of view.

Worse, still, is as I have mentioned already: the tendency to use insults and vitriol against those who do hold a different position. I suppose that, for some, the "winner" of an argument is determined by who can be the most insulting and obnoxious. Anyone who disagrees with them apparently deserves to be insulted and ridiculed.

Why is this? Is it just that some people have a visceral, emotional reaction to being challenged? Can they not find the right words to explain why they have formed their opinion? Or are they just rude?

I can't help but wonder if the latter isn't the reason in many cases, a further legacy of the "Me" generation. It's as if people are saying "it's all about me, who cares about anyone else?"

I’d like to say that we should never insult others, but I am guilty of it myself. Sometimes a sarcastic ‘zinger’ is just what a situation calls for. But an outright, rude, obnoxious, bald-faced insult is never, in my opinion, the trump card of an argument or discussion.

In fact, my feeling is that when someone finds it necessary to resort to such tactics they probably weren't very secure in their position in the first place.

If I can’t convince you to see an issue my way, calling you a name won’t change your mind. Likewise, I’m not to be convinced to change my mind simply because you have insulted me.

I may disagree with your opinion. That does not mean I dislike you in any way. It certainly doesn’t mean I believe you to be worthy of my contempt.

We are all entitled to our own opinions, and also entitled to defend them, and even to try and convince others of the validity of our own points of view. But as I’ve often said, we can agree to disagree without having to resort to insults and name-calling.

But… that’s just my opinion.