Victim impact statement by Kenny Proulx

The following statement by Kenny Proulx, son of Anita Proulx, was read into evidence at a sentencing hearing for Clayton Lapensee today.

Lapensee will be sentenced on February 12 after being convicted of driving while impaired, causing a four-vehicle collision that killed Anita Proulx and injured Amanda Proulx.

On January 17, Lapensee was convicted of driving while impaired and causing a four-vehicle collision that killed Anita Proulx and injured Amanda Proulx.

The full text of Kenny's statement was provided to SooToday.com by Anita's family members.

Their hope is that people who read the statements will gain a clearer understanding of the horrifying damage drinking and driving wreaks upon families and the community at large.

************************* The last time I seen my mother walking, making jokes, and talking was Thanksgiving of 2005. Both of my parents, my sister and nephew were visiting me in Kingston Ontario where I live and work in the military.

The next time I would see her, she would be in a coma in a hospital in Sudbury.

A week after Thanksgiving I was deployed to Pakistan with the Disaster Assistance Response Team (DART). On November 25th, 10 days before I was scheduled to come home, I was sitting in my workspace in Pakistan when I was pulled aside by the padre [military chaplain] who told me, from this little piece of paper he had, that my mother was in a car accident with my sister and nephew. He then proceeded to tell me that my mother was in critical condition but my sister and nephew were okay. I remember the padre asking me how I felt after he told me. I didn't know what to say to that question. What could you really say? I was halfway across the world so at first it didn't seem real. What I remember is asking to call my dad. Later that day I was on a helicopter back to the capital of Pakistan where I boarded a plane and flew 25 hours from Pakistan to Canada.

I never knew what was wrong with my mom until I landed in Toronto, where I phoned my Aunt Rose, who finally told me what really was wrong with her.

I moved away from Sault Ste. Marie in 2003 when I joined the military. My mom was nervous of me joining but she always supported me. She would always tell me that she was proud of me.

Moving away seemed to strengthen our relationship. We would talk on the phone several times a week. I would ask her for tips on how to cook and bake. Growing up I would help my mom to cook and bake, whether it was spaghetti sauce or baking a cake. So I was on the phone with her a lot from Kingston trying to figure out how to cook, or what portion of a certain ingredient to use, or what different cooking terms meant. I still can't get my pasta sauce to taste like hers even though I do exactly as she used to tell me.

To describe how upset or how I felt when my mom passed away or even during the time she was in her coma is not easy to describe. I felt like I needed to stay strong. Looking at how my dad and sister were the weeks and months after she passed away, I had to stay normal, or at least act like it. I could tell my dad was in pain. Growing up I remember him as an emotionally strong individual. I can't recall one time as a child when I had seen my father cry. The day we found out from the doctor that my mother was most likely going to die, he broke down. He cried on my shoulder for what seemed like hours. I knew then that I had to be strong. I felt that if I broke down, then my family would have broken down.

Ever since my mother's death, I have had trouble sleeping. I can't seem to get back into a proper sleeping pattern. I went to see a doctor a couple months after my mother passed away and she gave me some medicine to help me sleep. I also went to see a psychotherapist. I have never been to a psychiatrist or been on sleeping pills before that time. To this day I still have a hard time sleeping. I will sometimes stay up until 3 or 4 a.m. and be up for work at 6:30 a.m. That way the next time I will be so exhausted that I will pass out just so I can get a good night sleep.

With the death of my mother, it has brought me closer with my dad and my sister. My dad and I never talked much when I was growing up, but now I can't get him to be quiet. Whenever we talk on the phone I can barely get a word in. We had a good relationship as I was growing up but it was my mother and I who would normally talk. As for my aunts, uncles and cousins on my mother's and father's side of the family, we now talk quite often through email or phone. It makes me happy to have a stronger relationship with my family but it upsets me knowing that it was the death of my mother that brought us closer.

For the future, I can't really say what my mother and I would be doing if she was still alive, but knowing how our relationship was before she died, we would still be great friends, we would still be making fun of each other, laughing, having fun. My mom and dad had recently started camping and they purchased a trailer. My dad talks about how they planned on going on trips with it or even just leaving it at a camp ground and going out to the trailer during the summer to relax. I would have been there with them when I would be visiting from Kingston.

It also saddens me knowing she will never get to see her grandson Devon (my nephew) grow up. She loved that boy and would spoil him every day. If I ever have children they will only get to know how wonderful of a woman my mother was through pictures or the stories that I or the rest of my family will tell them. I miss my mother every day and I talk to her and about her to anyone every day, and I will never stop.

One piece of advice that I take with me, that my mother used to tell my sister and I growing up, is: "Don't ever use the word hate. Hate is a strong word. You can dislike someone, but never say you hate them unless you absolutely mean it."

Kenny A. Proulx

************************* Full coverage of today's sentencing hearing Crown seeks five years for Lapensee Victim impact statement by Tricia Proulx-Medaglia Victim impact statement by Ken Proulx Victim impact statement by Renee Schell Victim impact statement by Amanda Proulx Victim impact statement by Kenny Proulx Victim impact statement by Lynda Bertulli

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