Victim impact statement by Tricia Proulx-Medaglia

The following statement by Tricia Proulx-Medaglia, niece of Anita Proulx, was read into evidence at a sentencing hearing for Clayton Lapensee today.

Lapensee will be sentenced on February 12 after being convicted of driving while impaired, causing a four-vehicle collision that killed Anita Proulx and injured Amanda Proulx.

The full text of Tricia's statement was provided to SooToday.com by Anita's family members.

Their hope is that people who read the statements will gain a clearer understanding of the horrifying damage drinking and driving wreaks upon families and the community at large.

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Victim Impact Statement of Anita Proulx’s niece, Tricia Proulx-Medaglia on behalf of herself as well as Albert, Rosemary and Sara Proulx.

Victim’s name: Anita Proulx, born August 15, 1954, died January 3, 2007.

Name of the accused: Clayton Lapensee

Your Honour

I struggle to find the words, and have attempted to write this statement numerous times. To be honest, there are no words that can describe what my family and I have endured over the past two years, and will continue to experience for the rest of our lives. This in itself frustrates me and writing this statement has been a difficult task as it has forced me to remember and to re-live a wave of pain that often times I have chosen to suppress. I want you to understand the range of emotions, I want you to feel what we have felt, and yet I cannot ask this of you because I believe that nobody should have to experience what we are going through.

To describe the horror and pain my family has endured over the past two years would be impossible. Shock, confusion, denial, hurt, regret, resentment and helplessness are some of the emotions that come to mind. But these are just words, the magnitude of these emotions can never be articulated.

I speak to you on behalf of my father and mother, Albert and Rosemary Proulx, brother and sister-in-law of Anita Proulx, and on behalf of my sister Sara Proulx who could not attend court proceedings as she is now living and working in Ottawa. It is because of the accused and his actions that my aunt is no longer with us. It is because of her that I write this statement. My aunt did not die as a result of an accident. Her life was taken as a result of choices that were made. My aunt was an asset to this world and I stand here to pay respect to her and to fight for her rights.

From November 25, 2006, to the present day, we have suffered. How do I articulate the horror my parents felt when they arrived on scene in the trauma room and the images that continue to haunt them; the anxiety my sister and I felt on the drive from Ottawa to Sudbury, not knowing what would be waiting for us, only to find that what was waiting for us was a shell of the woman we adored. The hours spent in the hospital, waiting, some holding onto hope, others knowing things would never be the same. Distressed in not knowing how to comfort one another as we watched Anita’s health deteriorate. My sister struggled with the decision to return to Ottawa to write her college exams, fearful that something significant would happen while she was away. This fear became a reality on January 3, 2006, as she was not at the hospital when our aunt passed away. She struggles with never having had the opportunity to say good-bye to tell her favourite aunt that she loved her one last time. My grades also suffered, final papers and exams were not completed, travel expenses incurred, but these pale in comparison to the value of the life that was lost and now seem petty to mention at this time. We sat patiently for the last two years, attending every court proceeding, frustrated but hopeful that justice would be served.

I often ask myself where this fits in the grand scheme of things. My auntie Anita is gone and she is never coming back. There are many who are now missing a friend, a cousin, a sister, an aunt, and more importantly, a wife, a mother and grandmother. To experience this type of loss first hand would be the only way to relate and begin to understand what we have gone through. To say that my aunt is missed would be an understatement. To say that her friends and family have experienced a loss would be insufficient. Anita was an engaging, fun-loving, giving, caring woman. Her presence was always felt when she walked into a room because she had a way of touching everyone who was in it. She could strike up a conversation with anyone and was known for her sense of humour and ability to talk. It is unfair that our final memory of Anita was watching her gasp her last breath. This image is forever imprinted on my mind. I want to remember my aunt for the bubbly, outgoing, talkative woman everyone knew her to be. Her voice, her laugh, her life were silenced too soon, and the silence is deafening.

I have been speaking about what we have lost and what we have had to endure. But what about what she has missed? Her grandson’s first steps, watching him grow, camping trips with her husband, watching her own children grow into adulthood. I know she would be proud of my cousins and I hope that she knew she helped to raise two wonderful human beings.

The numbers continue to add up; the number of days she has been gone, the number of holidays and occasions her presence has been missed, the number of tears that have been shed, the number of questions that remain unanswered - the memories that will fade with time and the memories we were stripped of creating with her.

Our wish is for others to never have to relate to this type of senseless tragedy. From the moment of impact, we lost a piece of ourselves and will forever have something missing from our lives.

Love, laugh and live was a motto that hung in my aunt’s home. I will end this statement by pledging to remember her love, remember her laugh, and I will remember her life.

************************* Full coverage of today's sentencing hearing Crown seeks five years for Lapensee Victim impact statement by Tricia Proulx-Medaglia Victim impact statement by Ken Proulx Victim impact statement by Renee Schell Victim impact statement by Amanda Proulx Victim impact statement by Kenny Proulx Victim impact statement by Lynda Bertulli

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