Stupid criminal tricks #387

If ever you decide to violate your probation by staying out past curfew and drinking when you're not supposed to be drinking, it's always a good idea to take a quick look around the watering-hole before you start.

You need to take this wise and prudent precaution to satisfy yourself that nobody who was in the courtroom when they sentenced you happens to be in the bar.

Because people like that can really mess up your evening out.

At 9 p.m. last night, Robert Majic of 1046 Lake Street was tippling at a bar on Wellington Street when he was noticed by a police officer who'd been present when he'd been given a curfew and ordered to abstain from alcohol as part of a conditional sentence.

When the local constabulary approached Majic, he gave them a phony name.

This too, can be unwise.

Only use phony names with people who don't actually know you and aren't police officers.

And if you want to be a successful probation-breacher, always leave your cocaine at home.

Majic apparently didn't last night, and he quickly learned that the cops get their tighty-whities all in a knot about stuff like that.

Meanwhile Robert wasn't quite through working his considerable Majic.

Over at police headquarters, he's also accused of venting his anger on the Lexan sheet that covers the inside of the cell doors.

It's really, really hard to break Lexan, but by hard work and persistence, Majic succeeded in taking a piece out of the panel.

His extraordinary accomplishments last night were recognized by a total of seven charges:

- four counts of breach of probation

- one charge of illegal personation - one charge possessing cocaine

- one charge of committing mischief against an innocent jail-cell door