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No offence, but…

On Friday, Blue Room poster wife directed a comment at me that I apparently had taken the wrong way. On the face of it, her comment was innocent enough, but it was immediately followed by two words: "no offence.
On Friday, Blue Room poster wife directed a comment at me that I apparently had taken the wrong way. On the face of it, her comment was innocent enough, but it was immediately followed by two words: "no offence."

As I have mentioned before, one of the problems with online communication is the lack of cues as to a poster’s intent. In face-to-face communication, we receive cues from facial expression, body language, and inflection. These are all absent in text-only communications.

I do tend to find, however, that the words "no offence," whether as a preface to a comment or appended to it, often accompany a statement which is actually offensive. For instance:

"No offence, but you’re really ugly!" or "You’d have to be a moron to like that. No offence."

For me, those two words do not nullify the insult they accompany.

Now, as I mentioned, I may have misinterpreted wife’s comments. A couple of other posters suggested I may have over-reacted, and upon reflection I can see where this may be the case.

I posted an apology to wife, although I admit it was a conditional one; if her remarks were, indeed, not intended as an insult then I did certainly offer my sincerest apology.

She responded and advised that her remarks were not intended as an insult, and stated she "would never knowingly hurt anyone's feelings." It would seem that her use of the term "no offence" was genuinely intended to convey this.

I had, obviously, misinterpreted her remarks, which underscores, again, the shortcomings of this impersonal means of communication. However, I have heard and read any number of other individuals make remarks they qualify with the words "no offence," and I am not always convinced of their sincerity.

Undoubtedly this coloured my interpretation of wife's remarks. I shall have to make an effort to be more open in this regard.

Once again, wife, I offer my most sincere apology.




Speaking of statements which are offensive… earlier Friday an occasional poster made a comment about the two suspects arrested for [allegedly] breaking-and-entering a residence on Trunk Road. Having been detected and scared-off by the home owner, the suspects — aged 16 and 17 — made off with only a cigarette lighter.

This poster asked if the "two youths were stupid enough to break into a house only to have stolen a lighter?" and then answered "yes, the street name says it all."

In no way do I intend to defend these youth, although I will say they are deemed innocent until convicted in a court of law. Nonetheless, the suggestion that their address — or more correctly, the street on which they were found and arrested (their addresses are not given) — is an indication of their intelligence, or their propensity to [allegedly] commit petty crimes is reprehensible.

I do not know what compelled these two youth to [allegedly] commit this crime, but I am aware of the laundry list of contributing factors, which apply to all criminals.

Let me be clear: I am not offended on behalf of the two suspects. I am offended on behalf of the many decent, hard-working and law-abiding citizens who get tarred with the very wide brush of prejudice and intolerance. Even when known criminals live in a particular area, or on a particular street, that does not mean that everyone in that neighbourhood is a criminal.




Finally, there is another, more insidious form of prejudice which bothers me: intellectual prejudice.

As you will know by now, I am an avid Harry Potter fan. Millions around the world, both youth and adult, share in this passion.

I recognize that these particular books, or even the entire fantasy genre, may not appeal to everyone. I can accept that. There are entire genres I have no interest in, and even within those I do enjoy I have authors which I prefer reading.

I do object, however, when someone expresses their dislike for particular books, series of books, or various genres, by insulting those who do enjoy them.

Especially in this case, I find being told that "it may be time to grow up and get a real book" particularly irksome.

Was the Harry Potter series written specifically for teens? Perhaps, but it’s appeal has spanned all ages. The book is published with both youth and adult cover art. And while the first two volumes are definitely aimed more toward young teens, the tone of the books darkens and matures as the series progresses.

The eponymous Harry Potter and his fellow protagonists may be youth, but the story includes many adult characters and depicts situations which can be found in any novel intended for a more mature audience. In fact, when the movie versions of the fifth through seventh instalments finally air on television, I suspect they will be preceded by a "this program contains…" warning.

And so what if the protagonists are youth? Is that alone enough reason to deem these "children’s" stories? Didn’t Shakespeare write a play or two whose central characters were mere youth? Wasn't Tolkien's The Hobbit originally written for his children? Isn’t The Simpson’s immensely popular with both youth and adults, and yet doesn't the storyline more often centre around Bart, Lisa and their friends?

So, how is this "intellectual prejudice?" As I see it, if someone doesn’t like a particular book, or a specific genre, that’s entirely their decision. We can’t all have the same tastes, after all. I can even accept they may wish to disclaim their interest in these.

But to denigrate those who do have an interest, to insult and ridicule others merely because their taste in literature is not what they consider "appropriate" is, at the very least, snobbery, and I suggest it really is a prejudice. I can only infer from such comments that they see themselves as, somehow, better than others.

But… that’s just my opinion.



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