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What if Columbus was looking for Turkey instead of India?

Tuesday, December 11, 2012   by: Joseph Corbiere

Do you get confused, at all the names for First Nations people, aboriginal, Indian, Anishnabek, Ojibway, Ojibwa or Chippewa, Native? Then if this isn’t enough, what about Status Indian, Non-status Indian and Metis? Then there is on-reserve people, off-reserve people. What about the elusive Urban Aboriginal? Lots of terminology but no definitive go-to guideline.

Sometimes, with all this choice I am not sure who I am this week!

Columbus was lost, he was looking for India and when he saw us (not discovered, cuz we weren’t lost) he called us Indians. And of course that famous line “I’m glad he was not looking for Turkey”.

Now, the further twists of holidays is another distraction. If I am traditional, do I follow the Christmas season? Although, I do like presents, visiting family and friends. I attend some ceremonies. I do put tobacco down. Then I do like turkey drumsticks and I like corn soup. Scone dogs work too.

However, I can’t trail a moose through bush, nor shoot an arrow with the skill of Robin Hood, can’t fish worth a da*#, (love eating fish though).

Someone told me Santa was red. Now I am not sure if they meant the red suit, the red face, Rudolph’s red nose or that Santa was indigenous. Do you know?

Perhaps, someone may have the magic solution which will be definitive.

Otherwise this blue-eyed Nish will probably spend Christmas opening presents, looking for egg nog, listening to Elvis singing “Blue Christmas”, watching “Miracle on 34th street”, eating scone dogs n corn soup, and trying to figure out if I should call myself an “Indian in transition, contemplating First Nation, Aboriginal, Ojibway, Anishnabek, Native definitions of Status, Metis, Non-status while avoiding assimilation, but paying taxes and learning my language (or at least listening to Kawliga in our language).

Although, if the world is ending or did the Mayans just run out of space on their calender?  Anyways, if you believe the world is ending is this the time to run up the credit card debt, quit your job or quickly finish the bucket list?

Or, finally answer the question that has plagued mankind for eons, “Honey, do these jeans, (breach cloth, kilt, slacks, dress) make my butt look fat?”

Maybe, I just have thinking problem.

Note: Comments that appear on the site are not the opinion of If you see an abusive post, please click the link beside the post to report it.
right wing 12/12/2012 9:28:26 AM Report

Great sense of humour and a very funny take, I loved the "we were not lost" comment.
Glad to know I am not the only one confused by tittles.

Merry Christmas!
Ellio Doe 12/16/2012 11:15:03 AM Report

Joseph, I found your column funny and true! Hubby and I had an actual belly laugh, (and God knows we can't get enough of those lately) about the 2012 comment..good idea.. .Run up the credit card! Hahahah Looking forward to visiting your column again soon.
Have a Merry Happy!
Norm 12/16/2012 5:35:34 PM Report

What's a Merry Happy? Sheeessh
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